Changes

Why is it that some people adapt to changes better than others? From simple practices to life altering events, the world is constantly changing around us. Through observation and conversation we learn about the experiences of others. Being able to talk with others, in addition to the personal experiences we enjoy of life, allows us to get a picture of the different ways in which people respond to the world. Change, it can be said, is the essence of nature. Lifeforms adapting to changes in the environment, the environment changing because of the activities of the organisms. One generation is born, grows, gives birth and raises the next generation and the cycle continues. Friendships grow in youth but fade in adulthood. It may be more appropiate, then, to say that the essence of nature is growth and decay. This we call change and it manifests in all things from the miniscule to the galactic.

Responding to change begins in acknowledging that change is occurring and must occur. Intellectually it is easy to recognize this indeed many do. Yet, why is it that peoples responses do not accord with this understanding? Meaning that people know that things change but are still upset when a change occurs. This is not all people of course and the responses are many and varied. Ordinarily people might not like a change but they eventually adapt or get use to it. But there are many simple examples of slight changes which bother an individual; for one such example, imagine a person who enjoys going to casino. This individual likes to play a certain slot machine game and even have a favorite row to play on. After a few years the casino changes some of their games removing some and adding new ones. Of the removed games it so happens that our weekend tripper's game is among them, prompting her to wonder why " they have to change things all the time". Our weekender leaves this trip less pleased and understanably so if this game was one of her main reasons for going. Still was this one game the whole point of her trip? Was the trip to get away, have fun, relax, all of which can be enjoyed without that particular game. The disappointment our weekender experiences is normal but that should not distract from all the other opportunities that abound.

Another, perhaps more relatable, example: I like going on long walks where I allow my mind to wander. Over the years I have had plenty of opportunity to pass along the streets of my home city. Many, many things have changed over the years. Sometimes a location I had grown so faimliar with is demolished or an old favorite resturant is closed. Walking over faimliar sidewalks even the old graffiti changes with time. Through the years I have watched changes like these occur, slowly building a new place in their wake. I do not like the change all the time when it makes the familiar strange. Yet, these differences are not all there is to look at. Everyday the sunset is different and everyday it is beautiful. Walking along the sea I can take in the salt breeze, or admire the palm trees growing inland. Every moment there is so much beauty to take in, eyes like a camera open to the scene.

Often the changes which constantly occur in our lives challenge us. And there is never a moment where it stops. Time passes, the moment passes, constantly, changing, down to the cells composing the body. There is an illusion about us, the illusion that we possess the things around us. The constant change around us may cause anxiety about the future and perhaps sadness about the past. Anxiety about yet has to be, sadness over what is past and cannot be changed. In everyday situations we can become “dialed in” to patterns of negative thinking. It is very easy for us to slip into what psychiatrist Aaron Beck called automatic-thoughts which describes emotion-filled thoughts that are triggered in the back of the mind. These automatic thoughts color our judgment, since they are unconscious thought people do not realize the bias inherent in them. By negative thinking thoughts people may begin to imagine outcomes that are not realistic or are discouraging, falling into this default mind state.

These negative thought patterns are unconscious reactions but with awareness these patterns can change. The best way to respond to the constant change of the world is to abide in this change. Bringing awareness to the present moment is the greatest practice. In many ways all we really have is the present moment. There are many and varied meditative practices in the world. But, in fact, meditation is simple, as simple as focusing on the breath as it flows into and from the body. This awareness can then be extended to other aspects of the present moment. An example from my experiences: at my work, I come across rude or unpleasant customers, which is bound to happen in customer service. The automatic-thought of being annoyed and bothered became an unconscious pattern. I decided to try something new; whenever a difficult customer triggered the automatic-thought I made myself aware and took a breath, focusing on smiling and being courteous. In fact I really focused on making a smile my automatic reaction to any difficult customer. Since adopting this practice I have noticed that rather than thinking about those difficult customers I just breeze through day. Through incorporating small practices like this we may focus on the moment, and by doing abide in the change that is reality.

#thoughts