Leave Me Where I Lay

I self medicate Take pain away Slight numbing It’s plain that way No long term Solution All that’s ever Thought about A resolution But glosses over The fact I know not What causes This sadness. I don’t know why I cannot eat With a full pantry I don’t know why I’m drowning In clear air I don’t know why My heart is chained An anchor sinking Through the floor. Dragging me down For ten years. I don’t know why I feel so cold so alone. I don’t know when I could be freed I have been told Been encouraged To weather the storm But I don’t know Whether I want to. I’m fighting against The current taking Me toward the edge Waterfall to the abyss I felt the vibrations Of silent screams Tearing at my throat. I just know It takes toll It’s okay I’ll atone Sins within Like a wise dog I’ll go to die alone.  

J. Niles