Letter 10

Dear No One,

Recently in a conversation with a close friend of mine I was explaining my aspirations and reasons for keeping Lost in Aporia. This friend encouraged me but also shared that she did not feel like she had anything so important to say that she would need to publish her thoughts. This got me thinking quite a lot about whether I have something to say, truly, or whether I kept Lost in Aporia for the mere self-aggrandizing effect of having a website.

The freedom of a letter is that it does not take as much time and need not be as organized as an essay. My thoughts may flow freely to you my great friend No One. And how often do we allow ourselves to think and write freely? Especially in today’s world where one must be very conscious of what is said, or which words used, or how this or that is portrayed or betrayed. The quicksand, bogs, and riptides of today’s culture does make me often question my literary aspirations. No One there have been ideas for characters who I abandoned for fear of not representing them correctly; say for example this LGTBQ character I thought of. I envisioned her intelligent, brave, but also deeply flawed in ways which I thought made her feel real. Then my inner editor arrived and began asking whether I had stereotyped her, whether lesbian women would do this or that, say this or that, or believe this or that. I began to worry if the LGTBQ community would be offended. Ultimately I convinced myself that the portrayal was wrong in some, that surely someone would take issue with her in some way. So I deleted it all and honestly can no longer remember too much of the short I written to abandon.

What then do I have to say if I’m worried that my work will be inaccurate, offensive, or worse boorish and ignorant. Perhaps the only avenue left to me is to write only from my perspective,about my experience, and if people relate they do. As a artist I have no responsibility to create something relatable to anyone else I act merely on the impulse to create which I feel within myself. If my goal is my own satisfaction then there is no grander point or purpose to my writing other than a love for the craft and to a degree a love of myself.

If there is no greater message in my work then what my friend said does not matter. For implicit in her statement that she felt she had nothing important to say is the premise that published writing should have some value beyond mere personal contentment, that there should be some meaning, or perhaps some knowledge or insight conveyed. Of course I agree whole heartedly that writing could and should convey those things but again we are at risk of falling into those cultural pitfalls again. Because what is the value of writing but the subjective interpretation that the reader makes of the work? Think about it No One do you believe the Bible was meant to be taken literally? Yet there are those who take it to be absolutely literal. Beyond the issues of taking the Bible literally are still the many disputes on interpretation, for see how many denominations of Christianity there are in the USA alone. This is not limited to any one religion, nor to simple works of religious writings.

Look at the misinterpretations of great works of literature like James Joyce’s Ulysses or Franz Kafka’s The Metamorphosis, or William Styron’s Sophie’s Choice; works whose importance and impact are recognized but which would have been brushed away by those who would reject them out of hand for not immediately understanding the purpose. Perhaps readers should not expect the purpose of a piece of writing to be clearly pronounced. Meaning comes in layers and contexts, often the deeper meaning of these works are not identifiable by readers who have not had life experiences relatable to it which can illuminate the writers words. No One in my life thus far I have read the Odyssey fours time each time gaining more insight into its depth of meaning, each time finding something new in the words I’ve read more than once. It’s an amazing experience. It is a humbling experience. For it always reminds me that I have so much yet to learn.

No One I may not have anything important to write. Or I may not believe that I do. But simply by writing freely and expressing myself I will learn about myself, who I am currently, who I would like to be, what my values are, and the changes of my mind. In doing so I may just accidentally create something important with value and insight for any reader who may come across it. The meaning of the work will always be there because it is my work, it has meaning for me as expression; it says that I Am, that I aspire to Be, and someday will be a mark on the page that I Was.