Letter 6

Dear No One,

I started the year enthusiastically ready to begin taking steps for the next chapter of my life. It’s easy to plan it out, to create a story of how things could work, how they should go. At the end of 2019, and I mean literally the last few days and hours, I went over my goals and ideas and reformulated my master plan. Reviewing techniques and scheduling methods I began the year with the intention of being incredibly productive.

Well it’s three months into the year and how much have I done? A few poems and a response post to BoJack Horseman. My master plan plotted out in a euphoria of caffeine and manic exhaustion. Ive got a new approach to going about my studies and writing. Notebooks and sheets dedicated to tracking my progress and effort. As it is with most things I’ve been keeping up with some stuff well and others not so much.

Writing has been neglected. Once again I’m asking myself why? Time is a resource which is lost when gone. There is no pause or saving time for later and it’s ridiculous to assume you’ll have the time later. Writing, good writing, good writing habits, must be developed within the limited time we all have.

Why write these letters to no one? Well because in that way they are for anyone and everyone. Any pearl of wisdom can be harvested at any time. But more importantly it is about writing, it’s the practice of writing something with intention of posting on Lost in Aporia. It’s a good way for me to write my thoughts out without worrying too much about the composition. This is not an essay or a poem just an open letter. But it keeps me focused on creating something for my project.

The open letter format is a way of writing out thoughts, opinions, loose or formal arguments, it is as simple a form of communication through writing as can be. Writing to you No One is something I began doing in college when I had some emotional turmoil and needed to express myself. I found that it was very helpful to gain clarification on what I was thinking, feeling, and wanting when I was addressing a hypothetical person. Put in another way, explaining or describing myself and thoughts in words to another “person” allowed me to find where I was not really sure about things. Trying to write out our thoughts and feelings, trying to find the write words whose meaning captures your experience is a very quite difficult practice. Finding where my thinking was incomplete or where I was dwelling on partial or vague feelings gave me the chance to know myself. Well isn’t this the point of a journal? Here is the difference that I like, a journal is like a record of my thoughts, a letter to another person requires you to explain and describe. This requires one to think deeply about what it is they want to express, the guiding question being, “ is this what I’m trying to say”. In my early twenties I found that trying to explain my emotions allowed me to understand myself and what I really wanted and what really troubled me. Where I could express my emotions poetically and feel relief, writing letters to No One gave me perspective and allowed me to make choices for my own good.

Now No One I am writing open letters with the intention of creating simple posts for Lost in Aporia. I don’t know if writing these letters show my tenacity it trying to be a writer or if it just shows my ineptitude. What I really want to do is publish my stories and poems. To have essays expressing my thoughts and arguments. But it’s been hard to find the time. In my reflections I wonder just where the time goes. It feels like I’m trying to get a good handful of sand, feeling it flow through and away from my grasp. Essays take time. Creating a fictional world and getting to know the characters takes time. I know what I would like to have, what I would like to achieve No One; but I still need to figure out how to do it. Lost in Aporia is fun, it is beautiful, it is something that I want to love and work on for years so that I can look back one day and see what I was able to accomplish. So maybe these letters are just my way of reminding myself of what I want to achieve. And that’s ok. Because the effort is what matters. The open letter format is easy. I can work on these during the day, between tasks, amidst my busy schedule. So No One I think that fundamentally this is a very important practice. It reminds me of what I want to do and gives me a chance to share my thoughts which is my principle reason for Lost in Aporia.